She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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