So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
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she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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