Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
