Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Someone shit on the floor
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
