Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
