Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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