you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
