When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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