Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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