And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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