I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
