Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
