I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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