some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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