I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
