it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
