And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize