Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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