I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
