Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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