Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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