I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I deserve this hangover.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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