Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
