I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
