I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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