do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I came so hard my ears popped.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
