Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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