You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
