I hate all girls vehemently.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
