Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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