I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
