the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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