cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize