I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
as a side note pls kill me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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