so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
