i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
