Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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