true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
