so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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