Duck Duck Cougar?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
