You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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