I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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