So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
