Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
