Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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