She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
