hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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