Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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