Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
