i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Randomize
