Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
