Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
