I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Is it because I queefed?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
