I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
