There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
