There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
