Are we in a gay sports bar?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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