Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
