At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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