i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.