used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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