you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.