I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
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everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
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Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.